Angels And Holy Beings [rev] Poem by Margaret Alice Second

Emptiness, a sense of loss,
waking up every night not
knowing where I am - is it
how dad felt after the two
shots of morphine before
he died Tuesday night?

He was in pain - water in
the lungs, breathless, his
heart failing regular beat,
unable to recline, begging
for release; bring a knife,
slit my throat he gasped.

For the first time I could
cuddle him, hold him tight.
As breathing difficulties
increased, he sat upright,
his cold feet swollen. When
the district nurse came to

his bed, she cried as dad
resembled her own father
just before he died. Only
my brother-in-law had the
strength to lift dad when
he fell, and lifted him so

gently, my heart swelled.
When I found mom crying
next to dad's bed, praying
that God please release
him from the suffering, his
laboured breathing, his not

eating for two weeks I sent
her off to rest and on turning
back, found dad had died -
still warm - pinkish - suddenly
white & quiet, animation gone.
I cried, held his hand in case

His spirit could "feel or see" me
honouring his body, my hands
identical to his, his face and feet
living in my kids and me: it was
over and I was ordered to leave,
feeling empty. I have one wish:

To meditate, focus my love on
his spirit and soul, his mind
confused by morphine; I shall
study the tradition of staying
next to a body all through the
night - and send requests

To loving, intelligent energy,
manifesting as angels and
holy beings, to take dad to
a place where his mind can
recuperate and he can find
his loved ones already there…