As Shakespeare Would Have It.. Poem by Dakota Ellerton

So many thoughts cross my mind a day,
so many images, so many memories.
I try not to let them control me,
but sometimes they take over.
Sometimes, I feel I should tell her,
I love her.
Sometimes I think I should just give up.
Sometimes, I want nothing more then to try,
atleast once.
Most mornings,
I will wake up with a message in my inbox,
or an email in my hotmail.
I'm not forgotten,
but I'm certainly not remembered.
If I were to die,
I'd feel so misplaced,
at the time of death.
So lonely and frail.
Many times that rope has been at my throat,
teasing me to jump.
A few times, I have.
I'd appear the next day with marks on my neck.
But really,
what am I trying to hide?
Not the scars on my body,
not the alchol on my breath.
What do I not want people to see?
I'm not really sure.
I am what I am.
Maybe I was an exception,
born to be afraid.
As mother tells it,
I wasn't to be born at all.
She wasn't suppost to have any more children.
And when pregnant with me,
I was suppost to be born dead.
So what had gone wrong?
Or right for that matter.
When I left the womb,
taking my first breath of life.
I wasn't aware I wouldn't be allowed to leave this world.
Not until I reached a feeble age.
I never agreed to this.
So if I were to take my life someday,
would I be ripping up this contract?
My mother would be so ashamed.
But I?
I never agreed to this.
The first decision in my life,
and it wasn't even mine.
To be, or not to be?

There's a picture for my poem, along with a few others.

http: //poeticdistortion.tumblr.com/post/6997823399/as-shakespeare-would-have-it