Atrial Fibrillation Poem by Phil Soar

Atrial Fibrillation
Makes me quite an awkward patient
My heart is like an offbeat timpani drum
And much to my surprise
It brought water to my eyes
When the doctor shoved a finger up my bum!

I had lost my way around
At the local hospital grounds
And had walked into a crowded rectum clinic
And no-one seemed to guess
As they asked me to undress
That this exam was going to be no picnic

Pretty soon I realised
They'd examined me for piles
And I wondered why they thought it's not my heart
Perhaps it was the smell
As I really couldn't tell
All I could do when they approached me, was just fart