Awhatthef..Kia Poem by Douglas Scotney

'What ho? There ain't no bears down here, '
Said Robert Falcon Scott,
'I'll call it Anobearia.'

Back in acadamia
They translated it to Greek,
Called the place Antarctica,
That's still the name we speak.

What a shame he didn't honour
The flightless polar bird
And call it Apenguinia.

That name might have stuck-
Unless the Greeks had seen the bird
And called it whatthef..k.

In Greek that's ti-oto,
The land Ati-otoa.
Arty-ottowa.

'Sound's good, ' said acadamia,
'But meaning's not so nice.
We'll use the Greek for 'penguin'
And call it Apigwevosa,
The Underland of Ice.'