Baby For Sale Poem by Ramona Thompson

Well the brat woke me up this morning
A screaming and a crying
Got me up so damn
Too damn early in this morning
Got me feeling like a dog who just got kicked in the head
So a desperate choice I have made
Check out my ad
Write to the e-mail letter that says
Baby for sale, baby for sale

I'm picking up the phone
I'm calling everybody that I know
Letting my fingers do the walkin' through the telephone book
Cos I just can't stand this brat's demands on my time anymore
So I'm baiting the hook with the ulimate worm
A baby for sale, baby for sale

Send me an e-mail
Call me on my cell phone hotline
Gave birth on Valentine's Day
Now I just wanna kick this little monster out of my life
Don't care if it's not legal
Don't give a damn if it's a crime
Cos she's driving me one step from crazy
24/7 forced to clean her dirty behind

I've tried to sell her before her to the Home Shopping Network
I've tried to offer for free on Craig's List for free
Ain't nobody come forward to take her off my hands yet
Now I'm thinkin' that maybe if I diguse her as a cute little pet....
Someone, somewhere will buy....
A baby for sale, baby for sale

Her father left me high and dry
3 hours,20 mins,2 seconds and maybe 400 beers ago
Now I don't want any reminders of him or that time we made love at Sears hangin' around
So I'm posting this ad
Baby for sale, baby for sale

I guess I've learnt my lesson
Now I'll look before I creep
Ask my next lover to slip one on before I let him go low
Cos the last one played this joke on me
Told me he was fixed and barren
Now I'm left all alone and bitter with....

A baby for sale, baby for sale