Phil Soar

Gold Star - 52,518 Points (28.06.1952)

Bathroom Games - Poem by Phil Soar

I circumnavigate myself
when I am in the bath
I roll around like a whale sometimes
so I can have a laugh
My wife will knock the bathroom door
to see if I'm alright
I'm known to bathe alone in there
until the depth of night

I have some little bathroom toys
like ducks and submarines
I play some little war games
which can sometimes get extreme
my wife will knock the bathroom door
when she hears an explosion
my farts are lethal weapons too
though the water dulls the motion

I like to wallow in my slime
Imagining a chemical spill
as the plastic duck I idolise
Is covered in a toxic grill
of skin and dandruff, hairs and more
like a scurvy grime along a shore
like a wave of such bacterial waste
that it's not to everybody's taste

My wife will knock the bathroom door
and wait outside the battle zone
expecting me to wash the floor
to clear the mess inside her home
But when I bathe, I seldom see
the consequences if I fail
to win the war of cleanliness
and not be found like a beached whale

Topic(s) of this poem: nonsense

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Poem Submitted: Monday, April 6, 2015

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