Being In The World Poem by Mary Angela Douglas

there must be
another way of being in the world
I must have said to myself as a child

not wanting to depart the shores of childhood.
after seeing Peter Pan, thinking I can,
I can do that too.

keep wearing the same shoe.
the little dress.
and hang my coat on the same hook

reading whatever books I want to.

always the same height as the flowers
the taller ones. maybe the iris; one bright snow sprigged tree.
I will be quiet when they speak to me.

they won't find out I can speak in complex sentences
without even trying.
I'll be steady as a star

over the same backyard forever
in my head.
I'll go to work.

and pay the bills.
and make my bed;
manage my small meals

but in my mind
oh, how I really feel is this:
I'm in the hills

and gathering up blue dusk
the only way I must
the way I always will.

mary angela douglas 31 january 2019