Blueprints Poem by Dakota Ellerton

Why am I not dead,
I begged.
Such cruelty you've shown,
but I saved my life for you.
I woke to have a cord on my throat,
wht a laugh.
Love, this love.
I couldn't describe it.
Empty lies,
cruelty, and dishonesty.
It's pathetic.
Do you have her and I,
layed out as a structural plan?
The blueprints to a heart.
Weak points of a structure.
My hands are still trembling,
I almost wish you'd told me to.
I'd of listened to you, ofcourse.
What's really going to destroy me?
I'm not her,
and by any other name but my own,
I'll malfunction.
How dare you say such a thing.
The wedding I surrendered for you,
my life I'd devoted, for you.
Such a pointless promise,
I surely now don't intend to keep.
I won't admit next time,
to the thoughts wiring through my body.
I will simply jump,
and not look back.
It was never Love me, or Leave me,
but simply do not lie to me.
I'd hold out my hand to whisper,
'if you want me, take it off'.
I'd know you to well to touch that mans ring,
you'd look the other way.
As I'd thought.
I sit here,
with my heart wrapped in a tensor band,
laying in my lap.
It died last night.
It's nearly time to burry it,
send it's spirit off.
Before we do,
lay a kiss on it once more?