Fernando Alvarez

Rookie - 0 Points (1988- / Mexico City)

-broken - Poem by Fernando Alvarez

I hate the person you've become
all your emotions are numb
you can't see, you can't feel
nothing anymore seems real
I hate everything about you
everything you say and do
I can't stand how you act
on everything you turned your back
it's like you don't care anymore
but you have so much to live for
seeing you now makes me want to cry
you've just seemed to let your self die
you've set up this invisible wall
where you look and act so tall
but I know who you are deep within
I can see all the hurt and pain you're in
there is so much pain you try and hide
but I know the tears you've cried
you lie awake crying at night
never knowing which feeling is right
and I want you to know what I see
all the potential of everything you could be
I see all the people that love you
and hearing all this hurts you too
they'll all help bring the old you back
to get you on the right track
so you can finally be happy with yourself
with life, love, and everything else
just give it one last thought tonight
when your laying in bed crying at night
think of everything you used to be
remember all the happiness we could see
so I hope you decide not to stay numb
because I really hate who you've become
and this is all I have left to say
as I turn from the mirror and walk away...
I cant be what you want
so I will call it quits today
no more trying to hold on
it has to be this way
I am a disappointment
and I cant do it anymore
I will let it all go
as the tears start to pour
I am crying right now
as I don't want to say goodbye
but I have let you all down
for that I just want to die
I will call it quits today
on more poems from me
I will go into the dark
and think about the person I am suppose to be
I don't think anyone understands
I have alot to confess
I haven't done what alot of people think
but in reality I have done alot less
people make me look like I am worse
then what I really am
no one cares what I say
so I will become the sacrificial lamb
I cant hurt you all anymore
so I will take away your pain
I am the one who kills you all
the reason for all your shame
I will cut the life away
I am sorry to you all
but I feel that isn't enough
now I will cut and start my never ending fall
goodbye and I love you
I am sorry I wasn't stronger
but your life full of pain and shame
I could stand no longer
here you go I am the reason that you feel
I yet out the last scream for forgiveness
and I hope you all find your heaven
for me now I must end my nothingness
I see you sitting there
on the bathroom floor
a rusted razor by your side
Hoping you wont be alive anymore.
The wound marks on you arms
are memories of mine.
Just think that I was here
yesterday at nine.
You look at me
with you swollen eyes
knowing you cant lie
this time.
You cover up the mark
that you recently made
knowing that someone knows
what you have done with that blade.
With and strange look
upon my face
you stare at me
looking disgraced.
You say that you know
the pain I went through
and that you
felt it too.
I start to cry just thinking
that someone understands.
My best friend there
with blood in her hands.
I feel more secure
knowing I'm not the only one
that feels just as uneasy
in this big world.
Than just in an instant.
My eyes close and reopen.
I'm in my bed I lie
lonely and sad again.

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, August 7, 2005

Poem Edited: Tuesday, March 25, 2008

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