Broken Poem by Dallas Carter

Pain is inevitable at this point.
It surrounds me, not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally.
I will never be normal, I don't know how to,
It's like living with a black hole inside me.
A feeling of blank emptiness, as though I am a vacuum internally.
It's not like I try to be different or unusual,
But I can't help feeling so inhuman.
My inability to register emotions, my incapability to express my feelings,
I wish I could tell you where I've been, what I've gone through.
But in complete honesty, I can't.
In the most literal sense, I physically cannot relay my thoughts into words.
And it's as though my own memories do not belong to me.
My childhood is a blank area in my mind,
I cannot remember the majority of it.
I hate myself for the memories I have that imprison me,
But I hate myself for not remembering more.
I don't know which is worse, the knowing or the not knowing.
The physical pain I can handle, I can ignore it long enough.
But I'm broken in too many ways to count.
My physical state is one way, my emotional state is another
And my mental is a story for another time.
Emotionally, I don't know what I'm doing.
Physically, I only know that I'm breaking.
Mentally, I can't even begin to explain.
But spiritually, I can promise you I'm right on track.
Maybe someday I'll have everything figured out,
Maybe someday I'll learn to love who I am.
But at this moment, I'm just going to sit back and attempt to enjoy the ride.
Buckle up, and welcome to this ride called life.