'C' Poem by Lily Paig


TW: self harm
As I sit and cry on the bathroom floor
I wonder,
How did I get here?
Is this how it ends?
I got here walking - the path you lead me to.
All the fights, all those nights -
I cried, I thought, I stared -
At the ceiling, in the camera, into the mirror, at myself
The thorns that pricked me all down that dreadful path
The path
That was
Your 'friendship'
You didn't just 'lead' me, you dragged me, those thorns digging into my side
I struggled to let go
A hand to hold was comforting sometimes
Even when I felt I was ready to let go,
You had a grip on my hand like I'd never felt
One that crushed my bones
When I would manage to free my hand and start to journey back,
You'd push me down, with the dirt and the leaves,
And pick my limp body up off the ground
Just to carry me further from the main road
Farther from freedom - a breath of fresh air.
This couldn't possibly be worse, could it?
Thorns - this blade I hold - not much difference
Self inflicted, the guilt creeps in -
Suffocating my conscience
Cutting off the oxygen from my brain -
Or is it the cuts?
             You did this to me.
Ruined me, that is
Thanks for that.

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