Can'T Stand It Poem by ESPN CHICK

I'm standing here tonight
Trying to empty my mind of past times
Trying to forget and move on

I can't stand it any longer
All this pain is killing me
Through out the years pain has pilled up

Slowly its weighing me down
And then I will no longer be around
What can I do to rid this

Cause I can't take it
Every breath I breathe it hurts badly
Every time I smile it means nothing

Cause deep inside I'm hiding
And no one can see that I'm living nothing but a lie
Oh how I can't stand living life this way

But my body is so immune to all this pain that it won't let go
Won't let go of the past and I don't know what to do anymore
Feels like I'm fading away

Fading away into nothing
All I want is to be whole
Why won't my body allow that

How can I sit here and say that I'm alright when I'm not
When all this pain is still inside and all I want to do is cry
But I can't cry the tears won't fall not even a single one

How oh how I want to find a way out
But so far all I've came to has been dead ends
And I had to turn around and then I do the same thing over and over

My life is an never ending circle
My heart is shattered into tiny pieces
My soul feels like its one black hole

Can't take it but I don't know what to do
I'm just living the same way over and over
Living nothing but a lie

How can nobody tell
How can you see through these eyes
And not see the pain

How can nobody see me that I'm dying slowly
All those smiles are nothing but fake
Every time I look in the mirror I cover up all the lies

I don't understand why nobody can see behind these eyes
Why no one can tell that my smiles are fake
And when I say I'm okay I'm really not

I just can't stand it
Can't stand that people see through
But I guess I will live like this forever

May 9,2008