I'm looking for a husband, you know the sort of chap
The kind of guy who copes with things and never has a flap
The one who fixes cars and bikes and often mows the lawn
Takes the kids on Sunday hikes while I with hammock yawn
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I stand quite close but not too far
From pelvic porcelain mounted jar
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Remember how he scraped his knee and how I wiped it clean
I picked him up and hugged him so he wouldn’t make a scene
He was just so little then, an active little boy,
My! What a man he has become, me eldest son called Roy.
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He was lonely and sad in his hospital bed
Accepting his future with ‘boding and dread
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There’s a kind of trapdoor spider
that lurks in special stores
Because he now has wider
targets for its claws
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I was only new in Oz
And it was just because
I'd filled a form to win a BBQ
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109
A drunk man, in a broke and bent
Truck had run the light
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(Soccer Star, Wildlife Warrior and Rally Driver)
The World Cup Soccer final was taking place in France
When the captain of the French received a sideways glance
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Nature punished man one day,
She took a species right away
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Jems the Master Farter
In the Central African country of Malawi a law has been “passed” that outlaws the “passing of wind” in public spaces. People can be tried and convicted under this law, but how do you confine them?
My friend Jems (James) is the latest victim of this diabolical ruling...
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