Circle Poem by Ivana RadanJamnicki

There’s a strange circular motion
Repeating the old madness
And going back to that old behaviour
Telling me you are the one to fulfill my desires

Those countless times I’ve missed you
Missed your words stories care and touch
Even if it was all just for your amusement
To make you at least think of me dream of me

But when in moments of happiness
Without you included
I know you are not an extension of me
I am not definite

And then then then
I don’t need you
Then then then
My mad desires don’t matter

It’s when you need me for a change
And keep inviting and waiting for me
When you don’t matter
Anymore

Where I always chose the dream
For dreams always sounded better than reality
I am now feeling
This is a better way of doing things

Any of the slip-aways, slip-backs
Along
Are still coming and are still hunting
And I am again back in the circle

But that’s ok
I know I’ve succeeded
I’ll succeed again
However, loving more, not less

Sometimes or rarely
Loving me, not you
Every now and then
More often than not

And abandoning the game
We’ve been playing
That I was playing with you and other „yous“ before you
The game that stopped being good enough