Clowns Poem by Richard D Remler

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I am not overly fond of Clowns,
I've heard they ought be feared.
I've been told they steal your boggleness,
And ought not be endeared.
I recall from my youth
All those stories that I've heard-
Every nik and nuk, each it and aye,
Every terrible, terrible word!
And I'm here to say
We must run, run away
Before the clowns visit my town
And tear the poor thing to the ground!

They know just what we're thinking
In their evil campaign.
Oh, their legerdemain
Is not hard to explain.
They want us baffled and bouffant
As they toot their old horns,
As they whizzer their whizzers
And pop all their corns!
That grin on their face
Is deceptive and vile
They are irredeemably wicked,
Behind their odd smile.

Just yesterday I thought I saw one
Tip toe through the town-
Skittling up one street,
And the next rolling down,
Until every stray cat
Hissed a hiss you don't hear,
Unless something like that
Is around lurking near.

Oh, don't take it from me.
What do I have to tell
That you haven't yet heard
And already know well.
That they suck out your brain
Through a very small straw,
I must say they're not fun,
No, they're not fun at all.

They hide in your closet
Just to yell "Bo! "
And all of the time
They are laughing at you.
And what's even worse
As they're lingering there,
They pull out their tweezers
And steal all your nose hair.

They are fiendishly crafty,
And not very nice.
They hunger for laughter,
Oh, but at such a great price!
They'll hand you a balloon,
And you'll think that it's shiny,
Not at all big,
And still not very tiny.
And just as you feel
Their dark deeds will all stop,
That balloon, that nice balloon
Will explode with a "POP! "
And everything that you see
In your maddening dream
Will be covered in blankets
Of pink shaving cream!
And that's when they'll pluck out
Your eyebrows for fun.
Oh, not all at once,
But one by one by one.
And they'll skimmer away
And escape into the night
In their odd little cars
To their utter delight!
Stealing your little pug dog
In the strange, loopy chase,
And leaving a balloon animal
In its place.

I am not overly fond of Clowns,
For you see,
Every day of my life they have
Haunt-Haunted me.
They haven't been friendly,
They haven't been kind.
They've just twisted
And warped my already frail mind.
Clowns have one thing in common,
One unified goal.
They don't want to scare you,
They just want your soul.
And they'll get it, you know,
If they're patient and such.
For the soul is a something
They want very much.

And that's why I hide,
And I hide very well.
Every night, out of sight,
Where nobody can tell.
Deep under the niddler,
In the shadows below,
Where those oodles and noodles
Of Clowns never go.
And I think you ought hide
Just as quick as you dare,
For I hear and I fear
They'll be visiting there.


Copyright © MMXII Richard D. Remler