Ray Mesa

Rookie (5/17/89 / Grand Forks)

Counting Down From 58275 To 58201 (Unryhmed Version) - Poem by Ray Mesa

Today I bought the stamps, Wrote your zip code to excelll flight
The pen bleed,58275.
Today just might be the end of my life
But if I got a chance for us to start over, I'd end it all.

And I guess I only wear faldoras and seem more mature
that's why you left right? , I was not mature enough for you
Oh i would love to send this letter, if it only would bring me closer

I can see you now, Your smileing face when you see a letter for you
But then your frown when you see it has my name on it.
I can see you now, Crying at the harsh things I'm about to say
And I hope you can see my sympathy through my laughter.

I named the family I created in The Sims, The websters.
Becuase I planed to take your last name, becuase it sounded so beautifull.
But now, Just the slightest ryhme of your name brings me screaming, hollering at the sky at the moon asking why we are done and why am I still alive.

I guess my music taste went downhill that fallowing august. I fell into any beat that mimiced the sound of a gun bullet, becuase it sounded so great through my head phones. And I wish I could hear a real bullet right before it went through my head, I'd live for a extra secound to write my apology in my own blood. Maybe then you would believe it.

I can recreate the wish I have, I want you to do the things I think.
I want you to walk into your room and look at your palms. And notice my hands are not there and it's your fault. I want you to walk outside and notice I am not there waiting. I want you to miss me.

I want you to write a letter, Put 58201 across the middle.
Buy the stamp this fucking time, Your're going be the one that says sorry first.

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Poem Submitted: Friday, December 29, 2006

Poem Edited: Friday, December 17, 2010

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