Curtain Call Poem by Tristan Palmer

Voices echo throughout my head
As I lay here lifeless in my bed
Constantly reminding me how I'm a mistake
It won't be long until I break

Everyone thought I'd be a success
But the pressures of life have left me stressed
My mind is under constant distress
Which has made me vulnerable to be depressed

As I began to mature
I thought alcohol would be a permanent cure
It allows my mind to numb
But I'm only able to temporarily succumb
I imagine shoveling handfuls of pills into my mouth
Until I slowly fall asleep as they are traveling south

I just don't want to feel any more pain
I can't bare it
My innocence has been drained
Rung and poured into a bottomless pit

All these people try to comfort me
Tell me that it will all be okay
That I will smile again one day
That I just need to pray

But I don't know what to believe anymore
I no longer feel that I can achieve anymore
I don't want to get dressed and walk out the door
I just want to lie and die right here on the floor
To let my body just drift from the shore

As I slowly sink in the sea
My mind finally becomes free
No more feelings of unbearable misery
Since all of my failures will become history

Or maybe I'll just put a gun to my head
Pull the trigger and drop dead
No that's too quick
I want to hear the clock slowly tick

I have so many demons that want to escape
Which can all be tied to rape
Why did you want to touch my thigh
As you slowly unzipped my fly
Why did no one hear me cry
As tears began to fill my eyes

But as memories flood my mind
All I'm looking for is a sign...

But I can never find one
So a few simple steps
And it will all be done
I begin the prep
But I hear the sound of feet coming to my doorstep

Do I stop?
Do I want them to watch me spin over my tabletop?
As they look through the window and scream
I will be left with nothing more than to dream

I decide to not answer
To help my mind rid it of the cancer
As I slowly twirl round and round
I begin to forget what it feels like to be on the ground
The lights begin to brighten
As my eyes start to tighten
My mind becomes covered by a haze
As the seconds start to feel like days

My body no longer feels like a puppet
To the demons which cast a shadow
Who use my memories as ammo
Until I couldn't take another blow
So here I am putting on my final show