Cuttin' Off My Ritz Poem by Ramona Thompson

A woman loses it after learning she must lose both her breasts to cancer.

Dark rewrite of Taco's 80's hit, Puttin' On The Ritz

Feel so blue
Don't know what to do
Or where to go
Got the bad news today that sent me into a bit of fits
When they told me they're gonna have to be
Cuttin' off my ritz

Second opinions wanted
So I went to all sorts of docs with degrees of different types
They all told me the same darn thing
Sent me into quite a storm of fits
When one and all they sadly shook their heads and told me
They've got to be cuttin' off my ritz

Going out for one last blast
Before the big day arrives
Dressed up like a million dollar groover
Trying hard but failing to feel superduper

Something like this happening to a hottie like me really stinks
'Cause now I know
No longer will I have to beat the men off with sticks
Tottally stinks
Tomorrow they're cuttin' off my ritz

Gonna take what I got left
While I still got it left
Walk it
Flaunt it
Up and down
All over Park Avenue
On that famous throughfare with my haughty little nosejob in the air
I'll ignore all their hollers and stares
Offering lots of dollars
A million dimes and times I'll turn down
Grinning at them all
While inside I'm cryin'
Cryin' all the time
Thinkin' about them docs

Cuttin' off my ritz
Cuttin' off my ritz
Cuttin' off my ritz

2009 Ramona Thompson