Dear Father Poem by Charlie Bain

Dear father
Explain, please
Why you never
Wanted me
The word 'abortion'
Hurts me so
Would it have been better
If you hadn't known?

You were never there
Until later in years
And you seemed so disinterested
No smiles, no tears
Was I just a pet
That looked just like you
That every other weekend
You took in and gave food?

Never told you I loved you
But neither did you
Though I'm told fathers must
Is that really true?
Adoption to my step-dad
No child support cash
Though every single Friday
You took your friends to dinner bash

Who were you, father?
A womanizer, I know
But all I remember
Is you watching your show
Sitting on the couch
With your beer-belly out
Drinking beer and chocolate milk
With smoke all about

What I've learned about you
Was information from my mom
About your US Marine past
Your favorite Nickleback song
Why did I see you
But about you know little?
Did you ever ride horses?
Did you ever play fiddle?

So many questions
That will never be heard
Or answered to me
Because you're in the dirt
No contact from you alive
Seems like you were always dead
When you were alive
What was going through your head?

Why didn't you take pills
Or care about your health?
Did you want that heart attack?
Did you want to kill yourself?
I'm sorry if I hurt you
By merely having life
I'm sorry if my existence
Caused you lots of strife

Maybe I should have died
Like you wanted me to
But it's too late now
I'm alive, unlike you