December 8 1980 Poem by Randy McClave

I remember when he died
I remember how I cried,
When I heard the saddened news
I wanted to fill myself up with booze.
I was lost and confused and perplexed
As I didn't know what to do next,
Another advocator of peace was murdered with a gun
I wanted to just run.
I wanted to also swear and curse
And make my life and feelings even worse,
I felt a sadness to my core
I've never even drank or cursed ever before.
At that time I didn't know how to pray
I didn't know what words to even say,
I didn't know what to do
Inside of my brain and thoughts there was no clue.
In rage, I wanted to go out and fight
A night of pain and hurt I wanted to incite,
Then I wanted to think and cry
And I kept asking myself, "Why? ".
I then called all my friends and my family
Telling them all of the calamity,
Of course of the news they already did hear
They also shed their sadness and tear.
I then ran to my right and then again to my left
I was confused and full of bereft,
Confusion and hate was filling my head
So, I sat down and I listened to his music instead.

Randy L. McClave