Dire Destroying Fire Poem by Gert Strydom

Dire destroying fire
1 Turn off the stove
While I am asleep in the night at three o'clock
on a Sunday-morning the house is burning,
that my aunt is arguing in a dream I comprehend
that with mother she is arguing at an ungodly hour,
I hear: turn the stove off: do know about no fire
and the deadly things that do go with it,
the neighbour curses at the outside gate, seems set against me:
I wonder what he is doing at the front gate,
immediately do unlock the outside door and security gate,
are cursed and insulted
at the outside gate and like the hell
are mother's room when I run around the house,
with the most terrible flames that covers everything:
that mother is burning to death flashes through my mind.

2 While I get a bucket for water at a drainage pipe
The hosepipe has been stolen and with a bucket,
that I get at the roof's draining pipe I run,
with water to the fire when the cursing neighbour grabs
at me and jerks on both arms, is searching for conflict,
where some water splashes out as I jerk loose
and in vain I pour it over the flames,
and of Potgieter's sun in law I now have an impression
that from the yard he tries to chase me away:
where at the third time that I come from the tap,
when I look up the Harvey-tile roof of the whole house is burning,
at the front at my room the pelmet has got gigantic flames,
that everything is going to be lost flashes through my brain,
while I get more water, I do notice fire in the dining room:
I know that no person can in the house be still alive
and terrible flames as if unstoppable burns on.

3 That mother is not in her room or the house
That my mother is not in the room or house
the Neighbourhood Watch that helps comment
and the flames spread in the darkness
while the police want me to leave the property,
while my aunt screams for the fire brigade
and the Springs Fire-brigade do not come:
from Boksburg and Daveyton time is waisted,
as if impaired the regime decides about life and death,
while a private emergency service does come to aid,
but for mother it's already far too late
and what I and aunt Magdalene possess have been destroyed
while the efforts of that brave man, Danie Roodt, is totally in vain,
when far too late the fire-brigade does arrive
and for hours the police do prevent people to come near,

4 I say it's far too late while the whole house is ablaze
At 05h00 I speak to my brother on my cousin's phone,
tell him it's far too late while the whole house is on fire,
where nobody can extinguish or stop the fire,
where I am stripped from a place to live in
and I find out about Afrikaners in their laughter of mockery,
where this behaviour of normal people I do not comprehend,
as if apart from others people they do exist as gods
and with terrible robbery they do later affect me,
where the son of aunt Magdalene do give away the possessions of my mother and I:
where huge flower pots do disappear from the yard:
a garden-table and a Zozo-water-tank is missing,
that he does possess this after his mother's words he does imagine,
where the true character of my own people does appear
and such people a person has got to avoid in life.

5 While like a rejected person I sit at the edge of the sidewalk
Aunt Magdalene is surrounded by the neighbours,
while like a rejected person I sit at the edge of the sidewalk,
while now some people from curiosity come to look on
and with terrible damage I do not even possess clothes,
a Sunday newspaper has got the facts wrong,
while an Afrikaner police captain do curse my brother away,
aunt Magdalene is honoured by the neighbours,
they are not willing to search further for mother's body,
when that brave man, my brother and other police
do enter the house and find mother burned to bones
and as a barrister and judge my brother knows the law
and a state-hearse drives away with mother's body,
while aunt Magdalene does mention this but now wants to go and search for mother,
while the neighbours do gather closely around her.

6 My brother says they are going to wash the clothes that I wear
My brother says they are going to wash the clothes that I wear,
but throw away the T-shirt, jacket and rugby shorts
and without asking it's right in his eyes,
he gives me a track-suit that do not really fit,
later 2 packets of underpants,4 T-shirts that are in a wardrobe
and without possessions it's terrible and the situation in the extreme,
where I do not beg or ask for mercy
and in a dire situation I am caught and rely on the mercy of others,
with another track-suit, sandals and shoes,
a pair of jeans, a suit that is bought
and my brother is involved in my personal things
after driven to buy a suit, I am told of a donation from a cousin
and like this my life is upside-down and turned around.

7 At the church
"For God so loved the world,
that He gave His only begotten Son,
that whoever believeth in Him
should not perish,
should not perish but have everlasting life."
John 3: 16

To the church in uniform is the CPF-neighbourhood watch,
some of the neighbours abut and people that in robbery
do despise both me and my mother do come
while in a smaller child-coffin her body is not presented to be seen,
where I mention that in a current poem I said:
"my father was like an angel but a man of flesh and blood, "
where I speak out without being stopped about the things in my heart:
"that no one him in life could replace, "
"my mother had a soft heart, did walk with God, "
to the depth of my heart she enlightened me with Him:
"every commandment was in her character, spirit and soul, "
she believed that whatever happens God stays in control:
His benevolent unconditional love does have meaning.

8 That two presidents of this church severally curtailed me
I mentioned that after 14 months of contract work
mister Kallie Swanepoel at SAAB gave a great reference
but that two presidents of this church severally curtailed me:
they said: "I have a problem with women, cannot work under authority"
where René as an accountant got me a job
that I almost had and they were out to prohibit me from having any work
and they did for their own interests cut me off:
in this mother had faith that God do still straiten the way,
that I cannot judge the local church,
when from it I wanted to cut me totally off
and she did burn in an earthly fatal hell,
where every human will get a final judgement from God,
that my brother Jacob, reckons me the blue-eyed favoured one,
where in a relationship this is applicable for any person with God.

9 Without words mother's character pointed out their iniquities
Aunt Magdalene the people at church did honour and handled her with respect
but without words mother's character pointed out their iniquities
and with words and acts against her and me they persisted:
in spite of a hard life she did keep on praising God.
On a day at the church she complained about her car's clutch,
whereupon I insisted to drive them home with it,
my whispering about this to my ex-wife old Nick Grove could not tolerate:
he jumped up and screamed at me in Shona and glared at me in anger
and then again in both English and Afrikaans yelled loudly at me,
it violated the whole service and I walked out,
was later treated like the greatest sinner of this age,
where the mercilessness against me and mother became clear to me:
the head-elder Dr Freddy said that there is nothing wrong with the car
but that the clutch of that car broke on the Monday I know.

10 Whereupon the head-elder in church preached against me
Nick Grove did ask my mother and my wife for forgiveness
but did say nothing to me and wanted later to shake my hand as if everything is right,
where I told him that he acted unfit for friendship,
that what happened I cannot just accept and look past the impact of it,
whereupon the head elder in the church, Dr Freddy did preach against me,
that I do not have the capacity to forgive and do keep grudges,
where in Bible study time with attacks he tried to break me as a human being,
the scripture to make things right and then to bring the offering he does interoperate wrong:
where in this world-wide church I now do have a problem:
that elders and head-elders preach at times and say just what they want to,
where at times they do get scripture totally wrong
with what they say and at times do waste hours unnecessary,
do complain that in church I sing the songs of praise too loudly
and that congregation is for me a terrible place.

11 To make mother's circumstances more clear
To make mother's circumstances more clear
I want to mention that at Steubenville Pharmacy she did fall backward,
which caused that later she did walk very slowly with two walking-sticks
and after an accident where she lost consciousness she did not want
to drive a car and was scared of driving,
where for her I had to do shopping and do things,
where in old age a person has to depend on other people
and a person the inability that comes has to accept,
where at the Far East Hospital after that accident she waited 15 hours,
to get treatment and she came in with an ambulance,
did again expect similar things from similar places,
where it seems that everything depends on destiny and upon mere chance,
and in all of this we were very much attached to God and to each other,
for ninety years He did protect her for me.

12 Before this fire mother dreamt about an angel
Before this fire mother dreamt about an angel warning her,
that with candles she must be careful as easily
she could burn away the livelihood and future and passions of others,
but in great love that messenger of God acted
and that prepaid electricity was available I am sure,
where three days before the fire I repaired the light next to her bed
and in this event, I notice Satan taking revenge,
as he tries to waylay me to stop his evil plans.
The fire brigade after the neighbours talk along
and nobody really knows what had caused the fire,
where all of this leave me without plans and abilities in life
and in a crisis a person may not really know what to do,
where loosing mother is far worse than all the other things
and already I do miss her constant love and care.

13 It's terrible when people do tell a person what clothes to wear
It's terrible when people do tell a person what clothes to wear,
take the clothes of aunt Magdalene without asking to be washed,
where she immediately accused them of robbery,
where this caused terrible conflict at their house with a woman of 95,
when a person lives in another's living space
and when with help she wanted to do something for peace,
she is fought with as people have trouble to manage with an elderly person
and to nothing that is left she finds joy just to return,
where later in an expensive guest-house and old age home she is admitted,
where everything turns around her care, her insurance and the funeral.
Standard Bank with fingerprints issues a card to me again
and on no cloud-drive are my thousands of poems
where half a day at the department of home affairs
I must wait to apply for a new identity document.

14 Constantly I am saying thank you but I cannot beg or crawl
Constantly I am saying thank you but I do not beg and crawl,
and by this some people do not think that I am thankful
where it's difficult not to know exactly what they do expect from me
and aunt Magdalene complains about mother finishing school where she did fail
accuses my grandma of not acting right,
as if she despises grandma that only acted in her best interests,
where now this old lady does talk about her in hate,
when in the house in the rooms of other people she sneaks in and go through the things of other people,
do hang her panties in the window that brings conflict
and my brother and his wife do not allow such things,
where her brother's remarks after his death
still for her has disdain and she hate him,
about: "lazy Magdalene Brand" and he did incite his younger brothers
and eighty years later she still drives this to a reckoning.

15 About her experience of the fire she is later questioned
About her experience of the fire she is later being questioned by my brother and his children,
where it comes to light that she locked her door to the hallway,
of being recklessly careless they do accuse her
and to escape she leaves for my mother no way out,
where she went to her and did not help where mother walked very slowly,
she admits without questioning and to my room,
my mother tried to escape, in vain without hope of reaching it
where aunt Magdalene did not even from the outside knock on my door,
and aunt Magdalene's panic and own interest
in a way a person can comprehend and the terrible fear to die,
but another's life did depend on what she did b
but that she was at my mother and then did lock a door do leave me without words,
where true love does rather help if you do really care for someone
and it feels as if I can yell my lungs out against that elderly person.

16 A little before the fire the drains were blocked
A little before the fire the drains were blocked and, in the house, it did overflow,
just as with the fire aunt Magdalene came out through her door,
went to the front door an did not waver to accuse me of robbery,
did lie that I locked her out of the house and I was astonished,
when I wanted to get a plumber out and the overweight neighbour,
Potgieter's sun in law became involved:
Leon from the church was for all repair work her man,
that the problem is not the drain and that they had to clear the water she held,
later put a note on the toilet-door,
that warned not to use it since it's blocked
and to harass my brother at the church Leon used this:
I do not know what he wanted to achieve
as he went to incite the pastor, a young man:
in a kind of revenge to get us to leave that house.

17 I wanted to know if he came to get pleasure
At the fire I wanted to know Leon came to get pleasure,
while my mother was burning to death and I am losing everything,
whereupon he wanted to assault me: the neighbourhood watch did stop this,
he did on the scene give no kind of aid and evil this do to me appear,
where at the church my uncle Colin mentioned as a woman-alone my mother cared for us
but later alone we buried mother next father at Sedaven,
where my brother and his wife and kids were involved and other do not this deserve:
in silence his wife and kids wept in terrible mournin,
the team under Johan Vorster did cover the grave,
where as a child I played in that red-sand
and in my life, I feel stripped from God and without hope
but still in His benevolence He leads me by the hand
and just like mother, He has got unconditional love:
of God's favour I can witness.

18 God still has the final say
Where these terrible poems do speak of things deep at heart,
about those that treated mother and me bad in live,
where for God everything is open and the final things I do leave to Him:
what is in the heart, soul and spirit of other people is hidden to me,
and I do not want to take revenge on the lives of other people,
where unconditional love is something that still astonishes me
but the intentions and words and acts are not disguised to me,
where in crisis the Lord God constantly acts for me,
and although my life does look just as that of Job to me,
although I cannot see a clear way out,
these terrible poems are to mother a kind of honouring,
where it is the omnipotent God that speaks and it is that I serve,
a God that in His own time do straiten my way,
when destiny hits with that which I do not deserve.