Disgraceful Son Poem by Random Rainbows

I was walking home from school one day
As happy as could be
I walked through the door just to find
A sight no one should see
Blood on the ceiling, walls, and floor
No one was around
One more look was all I need
She lay there on the ground
She lay face up eyes open wide
Torn and motionless
How did this sweet and innocent child
Wind up in such a mess?
Her child-like eyes and baby-skin face
Suggest that she was three
Who on Earth could have done this?
What madman could this be?
I picked my jaw up off the floor
And began to look around
What to look for I did not know
I'd find what needs to be found
Any clues to the psychopath
That killed the child I see
One look in the living room
I remembered it was me
The memory was very fuzzy
I was very drunk and high
I do remember getting mad
But I don't remember why
Beer on the table
The smell of weed in the air
A gun on the couch
On a note written in despair
I picked up the gun and held it tight
Wondering what to do
Should I turn myself in to jail
Then start my life anew?
My father will gravely dissapprove
My mother will be crushed
There's only one thing left to do
Take my life I must
I hold the gun up to my head
My finger on the trigger
I pull it tight and close my eyes
The light is getting bigger
My breath stops short my body still
The end has just begun
The last thought running through my mind
I am a dissgracful son

(Please comment telling me what you think the meaning of this poem is. Thanks!)