Does It Really Matter You Deceive? Poem by gershon hepner

Flying, saying what you don’t believe,
inspiring others with your lofty thoughts,
does it really matter you deceive,
like priests with crosses that are really naughts?

Jennifer Bleyer, describing an unsuccessful attempt to launch a Jewish magazine called Heeb, wrote in 2005:

Once, there was a young rabbi. People came from near and far to hear this young rabbi speak, because the way he spoke about Torah made them feel like they were flying through the air. And when the rabbi spoke, he himself felt like he was flying, such was the enjoyment he received from teaching Torah. Once he met with his own rabbi in the privacy of his study. There, he confessed that he didn't believe a word that he said. He didn't believe that the Torah was true. 'Oy, ' said the young rabbi, 'how can I go on like this? They hang on my words, and I enjoy teaching them, but this is hypocrisy! ' The great rabbi looked at him and replied, 'So you enjoy it, and they enjoy it. You get joy from it, and they get joy from it. The only one it's bad for is hypocrisy! ' I thought of how far I had drifted from the 18-year-old who hung out at Carlebach's synagogue between acid trips and punk shows. Back then, I had my own weird little search going on for a place within Judaism. It was something I tinkered with in a quiet, personal way. When the tinkering turned public, it ceased to be mine anymore. Moishe and I looked at each other, he who had left his prodigious study, and I who had left Heeb's hipster posturing. They were things we were good at, that gave others joy. But they were lies of a sort, and the guilt of hypocrisy was too great to brush aside. It felt more truthful—more Jewish, even—to be outsiders.

My poem inspired this response from Linda:

Yes, it's lying,
truth defying,
leaves me sighing
while they're flying.
I'm not buying
brain-knot tying.
Leave the why-ing
and denying
to the crying
Heeb-denying.

8/11/08