A moon-lit day
End of Fall
The Sun an unseen presence
Far down south-west
Behind some silver cloud
Maples showering gold
On a lengthening walkway
Lovely as the Milky Way
A young couple in embrace
On a lonely bench
Hush, hush, silent speech
Tip-toe vagrant breeze
A teenage cutie
In Halloween fancy
Of rainbow hues
Floats her way
Did the trees around
Send her down
With their sliding leaves?
Time in lethargy
The skies in brood
Life in slow motion
Fowl in meditation
Perched on the bank
Their eyes lost in the sheen
Of the placid pond
Is this an evening
Or a dream?
Rub your eyes
Pinch your thighs
This can never be
Anything but a dream
"Wake you dreamer"
"Into what?
Another dream?
A dream within a dream?
And then a dream within a dream within a dream….? "
Isn't life an evening of Fall
Unending within a dream within a dream……?
No one wakes here
A dream-some nowhere
(cont.) i'll say the last three stanzas float off into dreamland, philosophy, symbolism, and/or whatnot; these subjects are often above me and of little interest to me, ....but i'm sure some readers will get-off*** on them. I'm SURE! ! *** get off slang (transitive with object following “get”, slang) To excite or arouse, especially in a sexual manner. ...maybe not in a sexual manner on PH! ! ! i don't think it is allowed here! ! bri :)
(cont.) a couple of teenage cuties came trick-or-treating a couple? of years ago at Halloween. i had to control myself! ! ! ! well, never too old to look! ! right? nice stanza # 3. (cont.)
(cont.) 1st stanza sounds nice (very) , but i'm not sure i 'get it' exactly. punctuation might help (me) . someone should put that vagrant*** breeze to work! ! *** vagrant; 1. a person without a settled home or regular work who wanders from place to place and lives by begging. literary wayfarer archaic wanderer adjective: vagrant 1. characteristic relating to or living the life of a vagrant. (cont.)
today i return for more commenting. :) moon-lit day? well, yes i've seen the moon (ours) in the daylight sky, but i think the light was mostly directly from the sun (our star) . PLUS i believe moonlight is just sunlight bounced off ot the moon's surface to light our ways some nights. ha ha. [both an aide and a hazard to burglars] (cont.)
What is happening to you Bri! ? Moon-lit day here implies daylight from a distant Sun hiding behind a cloud at the end of Fall is as soft as moonlight.
(cont.) and i think you refer to ducks or geese, but fowl is USUALLY used for chickens and turkeys and guineafowl/guinea fowl over here. fir ducks and geese I WOULD use water fowl. ok, NOW i'd better send in two parts! ! bri ;) thanks for sharing. kick me if i don't return.
In Bothel near Seattle, the place which inspired me to write this poem, they are referred to as fowl.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
NOW it is #23 on 'date added' list, from most recent to most 'long ago'. 10-31-2017 is the submit date. ok, i've read it once, have some suggestions, and it's not my favorite of yours. let me get back to it to read it once or twice more and comment more.....another day probably. since i have more space to fill: i'd use broodiness OR skies brooding. (cont.)
Thanks Bri for reading the poem and giving your suggestion. I like your candor.