Wakes up in unconscious minds with complaints and demands upright..
A cluster of desires with a hope of happening, a bliss of satisfaction that it lends on achieving...
Keeps confusing aimless minds neither showing a way or an opportunity to shine...
Once in a blue moon remembers for the glory of a struggler suddenly quickens its own way...
Being nocturnal strives to come at day, as if showing its working 24x7 a day...
Dreams come dreams go showing everyone how to sail their ships too and fro...
3 – b - i think " 24x7 a day" implies 24 hours every day, so maybe you want to use " 24 hours a day" ? c - " Dreams come dreams go showing" ...i'd put commas after 'come' AND 'go'. d - " ships too and fro... " i think you need " to" , not " too" . good luck with your English improvement! ! Bri :) p.s. in Drtony's comment a misspelling: " psychological
2 – Yes, given enough exposure and practice with English, i'm sure your (English) writing will improve! Just a few 'suggestions': a - in: " as if showing its working" i THINK you want to use " it's/it is" , not its; this is a common mistake and maybe a result of not enough proofreading.
1 - I'm pretty sure your 'first language' is NOT English. That said, i admire those who speak more than one language well enough to 'get by'. Unfortunately, perhaps, i feel you need more exposure to, and practice with, English in order to make your written words understandable for me, at least in this poem. After 60+ yrs. of using English, i still have some troubles at times! !
Really an insightful piece of poetry, well conceived and elegantly crafted with conviction. Thanks for sharing and do remain enriched.
Dreams come dreams go showing everyone how to sail their ships too and fro... the first lines of the poem were psyhological trying to give an explanation of the dreams. very nice poem. thank you very much. tony
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
'Dreams come dreams go showing everyone how to sail their ships too and fro...' Fine lines to end your beautiful poem.. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks you so much