CHARMAINE SIMPSON

Rookie (19-06-1969 / Adelaide - Australia)

Ego Maniac - Poem by CHARMAINE SIMPSON

For just one moment
step out of the safety you so bravely wrap yourself in
and call your world of righteousness.

As you step out of the comfort zone you have created
let the doors, and walls to your castle disappear
right before your eyes.

Do you feel lost now?
Is it cold and empty out here?
Are you frightened?
Look around you
look all around.

Do you see what I see?
In this world there are no confines
no safety nets
no certainties
no barriers for your protection
no boundaries to reflect back the words that you speak.

Your words now spoken out loud only echo
as you hear them fade
into the never-ending distance.
No body hears
no body understands
not even your own self.

As your words resonate outward
there are no walls to stop
capture
sort
then piece together
some type of structure or understanding
of each, and every spoken thought.

No
not here
not in this place.

Every word
every letter
every sound
separates
then disappears
within the darkness of misunderstanding
misinterpretation
confusion
disorder.

Welcome to my world!

now look down
if you dare
there is no room for error
in your judgment is there?
As you now can see
you so carefully balance on a very fine line
no support
no safety net
no boundaries in all directions
just your own very fine line.

Eyes peering from out of the darkness
like spectators watching your every move
waiting to see what will happen next.

Endless uncertainty
Insecurity
doubt
hesitation.

Now where is your ego?
So tell me what does it feel like
here on the edge of the unknown?
Not smiling now?
Why not?
Nose not so stuck up in the air
when you’re too busy watching your feet
so that you don’t trip up and make one
unforgiving mistake and fall
to the ridicule of those who sit high
upon their pedastal in judgement.

Can you feel
for just one minute
what I feel every day?
The difference is I know the rules here
in this place of instability
but you
its your turn now to feel
how i am made to feel
in your kingdom of merciless souls.

Are you lost?
Alone?
Out of your depth?
Scared?
anxious?
frightened enough to cry?

Cry?
Why are you crying?
What is the matter with you?
Was it not you who offered me the advice
so kindly saying-

“Just accept this world that you are unfamiliar with and move on”
“Build a bridge and get over it”!
'Why are you trying to hold onto the past
endlessly searching to regain a segment from the world
that you stepped out of'?
'Turn your back now'.
'Learn to live in the present'.
'Why don’t you just get on with life right here
right where you stand'?

Do you recognize these kind words of advice
you once shared with me?
I am now giving them back to you.
Do they sound the same
when you are on the receiving end?

Why so sad?
Why the tears?
I don’t understand you?
You’re not making any sense?
Are you delusional maybe?

Look everyone
gather around,
here is someone that dared to step into the world
of those whom he so harshly judged
while he stood on his high and mighty
solid platform of permanent stability.

He who opened his mouth
who chose to speak words of no substance
that contained nothing but gossip.
It was this cruel intent he used to disguise
the inner torment of his own existence.

He who points the finger at all but himself
is in fact the soul drowning in his own
hopelessness and misery


September 2005


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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Poem Edited: Wednesday, September 20, 2006


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