Spinning faster and faster, spiraling down, down,
Depression creates a suffocating heaviness
which consumes and smothers your entire being.
As i recall this space in time,
it seems as though viewing an experience that belongs
to a stranger.
My physical body defeated,
so tired there is no movement.
Eratic thought patterns that make no sense.
Who is controlling these thoughts?
My mind is in control,
which now belongs to the very dark powerful emotion of
This emotion gathers together, confusion, negativity, loss,
misery, self hatred, guilt, and doubt,
all joining forces and circling faster, causing dizziness
and taking me down to a cold, dark place full of sadness.
This sadness so overwhelming it comes crashing,
over and over like pounding waves,
its too dark to see anything,
the next wave crashes over with no time for a breath
before the next wave floods tears that fall
as though they will never stop falling.
Nothing makes any sense -
I am lost, it is dark, it is cold, I am scared,
in this darkness i fall deeper into this nightmare.
1st September 2003