Elevator Music Blues Poem by Paul Storm

This is commendable work, however, to enable your audiedce to read this piece as you would recite it...mai suggest that you strongly consider the employment of punctuation. I had to read this piece 3 times, before i was able to read it(i think) the way you wanted it to be read.(imo) there is too much run-on & carry-over, and ergo (imo) there is a need to establish break at certain points of the work.Comma's of course are the old standard, but if you ever pop over to my work you will see that i like to employ the 3-dot (...) pause, which literally tells a reader to make a full-stop & move on to the next segment, line or thought....I also occasionally use the 3-dot pause for effect...at a crucial moment/line of say, a poignant, or high energy poem....catching the Reader off-guard with a sudden temporary stopage...followed by a smooth transitional move forward, before closing out either that thought, or the piece itself.Overall...you have a lot to work with here, and although leaving it as is(succinct) , would not make this an incomplete work...i just feel that you can take this piece further, deeper, & expound on it without sacrificing any of its original charm.Good Luck. FjR