End Of Me Poem by Balint Nagy

{Introduction Speech}
Here I am, at the top of the hill again.
Standing by myself, like the way I did before.
Isn't it ironic, how my fate repeating itself?
It seems like I'm way too good at goodbyes,
Just like my English pal, Sam sings it.
Are you surprised? Me neither.
Like I said; I just stand here broken and naked,
Filled with emptiness and self-hatred.
Everything became dark again.
So I guess here's the time for some reckless self-destruction.
This time it really could be the end of me, but the truth is:
I don't care at all.

The burthen of my actions burns my skin
Consuming me from within
But unable to absolve me of every sin

Oh, it wasn't written in the stars
That once again
I'll break my own heart
And now
Everything I thought we could be
Have fallen apart

Delivered into my own fate
I recognized I cannot change
I've gone insane but what a shame
I only appreciate things when it's too late

I screwed up this so long ago
If I could change I'd never let you go...
 
I still dream of your marvelous lips
And can't even tell how I miss
The savor of your kiss

I must proclaim the secret that I kept:
You could have been…
But it's impossible to change the facts
So there's no point in make amends

Now I am losing oversight
Dark shadows beleaguer me
Reminding me every time
That what I left behind
Was non less
Than the meaning of my pointless life
And I am truly sure, I can't survive
Without your shining lights

I screwed up this so long ago
If I could change I'd never let you go...

{Ending Speech}
You know, somehow, in my own strange way,
I really used to believe in fairy-tales so far.
But for the three hundred and twenty-seventh time,
I recognized:
There is no happy ending for me.
And the fact is: I don't even deserve one.
You can't argue with that.
I'm not a hero, nor even a man, just a masked clown.
A joke that cannot be taken seriously.
Maybe that's the reason why I don't deserve to be happy.
Actually I don't even know why I'm still alive.

P.S.:
I need you to know:
I fucking loved you