Enough For A Lifetime Poem by Mona Adviento

Prose fails me now.
I’m trying to reach the end of a walk to remember.
A walk to remember I am trying to forget.
I write as if you’re right in front of me
Yet your face obliterates every coherent thought in my head.
And I am cursed by the reality

It would never be the same.

I am not you-not the cool, detached, controlled male feline
That you are.

I crumble easily, shatter readily when confronted
With wall I cannot breach, I cannot break.
I shudder at the memory of impulsiveness
Shamed by the consequence of thoughtless action.

Drama queen I may be yet I thought
Honesty was my key.
Apparently not.
For here I am trying to untangle myself from these confining emotions.

I hear you breathing in the stillness of the night
I see your steely eyes boring through my uncertainty
You have always been out of reach
Even when you were right beside me.

Your presence unnerved me and it scare me to death
Knowing I have lost.
Burning bridges has always helped relieve the misery
Yet there is no comfort in knowing a trust has been betrayed.

Beyond repair. Too much has transpired.
We can never start again
Tainted. It’s always about
How to feel, how to stay, how to let go.

All in a day. All in a week. Enough for a lifetime.

July 30,2005