EPITAPH Poem by Gert Vlok Nel

Last night I dreamed that I was living in 1975 again, the year
when I was last happy. Then I walked down the steps & tapped
water for myself in the kitchen it was so quiet in the house.
The best years are gone. Anyway, & then I dreamed that I
would one day live as far away from 1998 as possible.

Last year I dreamed that I was living in my own most
beautiful words again in my most beautiful village & that I
was starting to get healthy again. Then I woke suddenly &
something wasn't right I was so lost I wasn't in my own home.
The most beautiful words are gone. Anyway, & then I
dreamed that I had gone to live in a language as far away
from Afrikaans as possible.

I my boyhood I had a girl she was beautiful beyond
Afrikaans she could make my heart dance in pain all night
& she was somehow Gert's last stance. And then she dreamed
that she had gone to live in a body as far away from my body as possible.
The loveliest love is gone. Anyway, then I dreamed that I had
gone to live by her body as far away from my body as possible.

Somewhere I dreamed that I attended my own funeral
& Pa was there & Ma was there & all my loves like in my
happiest year. But the best was this the best was this this was
that I bent down to the ground & kissed myself on my own
mouth.
The most beautiful dreams are gone. Anyway, then I dreamed
that I had gone to live in a dream as far away as possible
from here & now

Last night I dreamed that I was living in 1975 again, the year
when I was last happy. Then I descended from the step &
tapped water for myself in the kitchen it was so quiet in the
house. The best years are gone. Anyway, & then I dreamed that
I went to live in a country as far away from South Africa as
possible. & then I dreamed that I went to live in a country as
far away from South Africa as possible.