Even Strong Woman Sees Darkness Poem by Ciara Mitchell

My heart is racing
My stomach is shaking
But this isn't the feeling of butterflies
Or where love lies

This is the feeling of traumatized and
Criticized for being me.
And this don't come from random hecklers
On the street orcomments that everyone can see.
But it comes from me, the me inside of me.

My actions are fatal
my choices feel wrong
My mind goes mental
And the feeling drones on and on.

There are days where I look at my self in the mirror
In disgust and in horror because I'm not happy with the reflection that I see
I sit around hoping to restore my families honor. In the hopes that they will be
Happy with me.

But my feelings of hurt, regret, and hopelessness are burning Inside my mind
trying to climb its way out of hell. But I dousedthem fake water of passive aggressiveness
And fake kindness and hoping my facial feelings won't show and tell. Letting everyone walk over me and use me like a worn out pair of nikes. Having the fear of everyone's words used against me for the way I walk the way I act, the way I sit, drink, eat agree, disagree, everyone, silent guns are all pointed at me, and the shots fired leave me so empty.


Trying to find worthiness
In a field of self-hate.
Is like trying to gasp for air
at the bottom of a lake.
And even when I try to remember who I am and where I stand
Still feels like I'm falling back down a spiral again.

But I will remind myself that I am loved
I am Cherished that I am strong-willed
I have a life worth living and a destiny
To fulfill. I am enough I am strong I am beautiful I am everything
And more. Because I will let the darkness take over anymore.