Expertise - Applied For The Good Of Man Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

Bufus marinus is a toad
that can be found on any road,
Down Under, would you let me add,
the plaque has really gotten bad.

Last Sunday, I went out to see
the cute opossum in the tree,
he's made a home here for his wife
and they get on quite well in life.

I always check on them at night
when moon and stars provide some light,
that's when the toads fulfill their need,
to gobble insects and to breed.

A female cane toad lets her eggs
fall from a pouch between her legs.
Some thirty thousand thrice a year,
a lot of toads. Oh dear, oh dear!

The folks who introduced this species
(they wrote a scientific thesis) ,
were trying to eradicate
a nasty beetle from this state.

Bufus marinus likes to eat
large portions of fresh beetle meat.
However, God did not equip
the toad with muscles of the hip

that would allow him to ascend
tall sugarcanes and apprehend
the munching beetles for his dinner.
So, here, the beetle is the winner.

The muscles lacking in perfection
in cane toads' clumsy pelvic section
the biceps femoris, short head,
is well developed, it is said

in insects, not in ugly toads,
thus you will find them on the road.
Back to my friends, the cute opossums,
who live up high, above the blossoms,

they use their biceps brachii
and quadriceps to climb so high.
A problem though: Possums detest
cane beetles (which you may have guessed) ,

the beetles, scared out of their wits,
get gut contraction (called the shits) .
This substance falls, reducing traction
on twigs and branches, just a fraction.

And soon one sees the beetles dancing
while far below, toads are advancing.
So many fail, severely tested
and then are greedily ingested

in biological deduction,
their flesh helps fuel reproduction.
The question now may well arise:
For plague control would it be wise

to kill the cane toads of the nation
and stop their shameless fornication?
Or would it be a better tactic
to use a hormone prophylactic

on beetles so they cannot breed?
A loaded question, yes, indeed!


Epilogue:

This tale exemplifies, dear reader
that, to control a rabid breeder,
authorities conduct a study
(each scientist invites a buddy)
and weigh the pros and cons for ages
while being paid horrendous wages,
and in the end, their bright conclusion
creates more chaos and confusion.

Let's not forget which brains imported
the toad, and now the same distorted
and tunnel-visioned bunch of nannies
sit on their well-developed fannies
and send their emails and their faxes,
then saddle us with further taxes.

I heard (a spy leaked me the memo)
that they are setting up a demo
to prove their grasp of basic science.
The whisper is that global clients
are queueing up for the occasion
so let me give you the equation:

Translated for the common masses,
it also covers greenhouse gasses.
In short there simply will not be
a single solitary tree.

Trees harbour possums and their brothers,
and beetles, birds and useless others,
they make dioxide which then rises
in clouds and similar disguises
they warm the toads through global warming,
and badger beetles into swarming.

Our task is done - we shall be free
once they cut down the final tree.