We sat in the fake lights of the city,
talking,
simply talking and looking back
on our lives
lived so independently.
Reflecting is what we called it tonight
like the moisture drops in our steady breath
turn faded gray by the reflecting light.
By those breaths before us our lives were placed
out in the open,
for the other to see
just truth,
in them no deceptions were laced.
So stay with me that I may know you more,
that I may take you in, your words, your breath,
and come be with me before our time is over.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
For me this version is not as effective as your unrhymed version. It is certainly well crafted but doesn't seem to have the same sharpness of imagery.