Falling Into The Happiness Poem by Sara Hol

On some of my lonely days,
I remember what use to be
as I look at my reflection in the mirror.

Those blue eyes don't show pride,
joy or love..
but of long days and drastic nights
where blood was lost
and tears had been secretly shed.

My heart clings to the images
of the neglect and emotional abuse.

I fear for the child's sound of mind,
I fear for the child's love you could not find.
I fear for the child's false image she created,
and the negative views she held of herself for soo long.

I watch as she feels hopeless,
not allowing love to find her.
I watch as she neglects the attention,
and the nurture, she did require.

A wall had been built,
emotions hung dry..
feelings were lost,
and buried deep inside.

She belittled herself,
only accepting the bare minimum.
She accepted the neglect,
as her normal.

The bubbly child who everyone
thought of as happy,
buried deep down a lot of pain.

She hid the depression,
hid the harm, hid the hurt,
as her feelings were disarmed.

Until a man came along,
and took apart her wall brick by brick.
Now her feelings are felt,
but she hides and feels sick.
The emotions are overwhelming,
as the numbness begins to wear off..

She feels the impossible love
only thought of as a dream
wash over her,
unraveling the pain
by the seams.

She is terrified of the journey,
that must lye ahead.
Its her unimaginable dream,
the reality and quest inside her head.

Her hopes are high,
yet her fears remain..
she tries to gain strength,
handling the pain; her main domain.

The laughter becomes contagious,
as the love starts to become her normal.
She starts to slowly fall into the happiness,
with the man who's love is eternal.