Fat Man Blues Poem by John Thorkild Ellison

I'm getting fatter and fatter,
It's filling me with shame,
But it doesn't really matter,
It's the CALORIES that are to blame! !
So what if I drink a lot of wine
And munch too much when I eat my lunch -
Chocolate is so divine
And I like pork crackling to crunch!
It isn't fair that I'm so fat,
I never wanted to look like that! !
My doctor warns me that I may die
But I've got bigger fish to fry!
I wouldn't like to be thin as a rake
(That's why I eat a lot of cake) ,
Give me roast beef and Yorkshire pud,
Did anything ever taste so good?
To hell with going on a diet,
Gimme some bacon and I'll fry it! !