Fathers Poem by Amelia Wasiluk

I write to fathers and to those who are fatherless. And everyone else that cares to understand the fatherless.

I came into this world with a father and a mother. Normal, Right. What transpired along the way bugled my mind for years 'til I was about mid 30's. Why?
I do Not know Why I followed a fly, to see what it could do, to see what it would do.. I almost Got swallowed by the Fly..
some children's songs have deep spiritual meaning like " Shoo Fly.. "
Let me explain to you why..
Ever since I could remember I experienced turmoil, pain and suffering when around or near my parents. Demanding, over bearing and confounding. Chaos and destruction. That eventually led to desolation, abandonment and was left at age 6 to look after and care for 4 other younger siblings with maternal grandparents and six other aunts and little cousins. I credit My grand pa for his love and courage to allow us to roam his farms and land freely, that reintroduced me to a deep connection to the REAL GOD and Nature, and fore most a Painful but much needed disconnection from my sick parents who had recreated me in their image. Those were 2 years of my most saniest experience as a child.
For the longest time I could not fathom why do parents fight and hate each other. Well, having learned and acquired the indignant gift of pride and judgement I ventured into the same thing, love and marriage. Lacking wisdom to learn from others' mistakes I believed I could prove them wrong and do better. WRONG! ! With all the shame and pride I built up in my soul and being I was bound to fail grossly.
Like the ugly duckling, in every man I saw the father I never had. Until of course I came to understand that my real Father, GOD never abandoned me, He led me to the earthly father I always had and learned to forgive him and love him just the same. Not with out missteps, trials and tribulations. While my Father was in and out of my life God replaced Him with soulful teachers, grandparents, spiritual friends and mentors, etc..
Why do I share this? ?
Do Not really know, I see that there is unnecessary pain and suffering that children do not NEED to experience, that may send them permanently to a mental hospital or jail. If NOT killed. The absence of a father leaves a deep hunger for love and attention that it is hard to overcome, that most predators smell it and take you for a meal at every chance they get,
especially in being a girl and remaining a little girl in a woman's body.
Most of us will never endure like a JESUS and will fail at every test GOD puts us through. And become haters of GOD and LUNATICS for the injustices, pain and suffering we must endure in order to develop character.