Feeling Guilty Poem by Nassy Fesharaki

Feeling guilty

In blue, loose, jersey
She rushed in holding book
We were four, TA friend, Cameron
And I and Shahryar; said something.
None of us realized what it was.

She went out, almost raced in a run
Her body superstar’s, very soft.
And we looked, our eyes fixed
Entangled in question, she came back…

Confused as flies in the web; we in Venus’s; scarlet’s, Aphrodite’s.

Talked of bus, I gave her a token
She dropped two toonies in my hand
Did not take looney back, and we, shocked, surprised.

She showed book, a page ripped
Then returned with the page in hand;
And again went back as crazy, or a witch…
Doubtlessly each one thought…

What is this?

What was mine?
She meant to establish some contact
But whom with and how, why?
No answer! ! !

I felt sick and guilty
From that, from then…

On way out, in the car
Told me things Shahryar
Strange, wonderful, pitiful
“She is sick, is autist…”

And went on…
“They try to avoid loneliness…”
“They fail in eye contact…”
“Treat them equal and never special.”