Feelings Of Guilt Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Gee!
Please tell me this...
Am I the only one to awaken,
From a peaceful undisturbed sleep...
To feel immediately the presence of guilt?

I do.
Sometimes I do.

I awaken each day...
To first exercise and meditate.
I do my yoga routine.
And then with a gratefulness I pray.
To affirm my blessings.

And then a total and complete happiness,
Comes over me.
I want to scream with joy.
So loud it makes me feel gulty.

For years I've expressed,
My happiness with my neighbors.
A few, I know, are convinced...
I smoke crack.
Because I enjoy burning incense.
And most of my neighbors know that.

Sometimes I don't have a dime in my pocket.
And those close to me know this.

I can walk for miles...
With nothing but a smile on my face.
And I just might approach a stranger...
To ask why a frown that makes them look down,
To 'me' appears out of place.
I wont repeat some things they say.

'Uh...
No thanks!
I couldn't do that to myself,
If I wanted.
But...
You have a good day.'

Gee!
Please tell me this...
Am I the only one to awaken,
From a peaceful undisturbed sleep...
To feel immediately the presence of guilt?

I do.
Sometimes I do.

However...
I keep my routine the way it is.
I am the product of my experiences.
And naïve I am not.
Nor thoroughly innocent.
But feelings of GUILT?
Because I am happy?
Absolutely makes no sense!
Does it?

Does it to you?

What's the matter?
Why are you looking at me like that?