Fiona Looks Out Into The Morning Darkness And I Begin Thinking Of Zena Again Poem by Dennis Ryan

Sunday morning, November 13,2016 at 6: 32 a.m.; Saturday morning,
December 31,2016 at 9: 58 a.m. and then Saturday afternoon at 2: 10 p.m.

- written in memory of Zena, our Storm Lake, Iowa barn cat,
who lived to be almost 18 years of age, coming to us as a kitten
from a local farm just outside of Storm Lake in October of 1998

author's comment:It is easy to identify indifference and/or lack of care,
caring in just about anyone by his/her use of language, tone of voice, etc,
and body language and gesturing—the later being what linguists call
"paralinguistic devices"

Fiona looks out into the morning darkness
and I begin thinking of Zena again—
the very good eyes Zena had
before she was blinded in one eye
one May day in 2003 soon after I had left home,
only to return some ten minurtes later
to find her sprawled out in agony
on our front porch... then a rushed visit
to the vets to save her eye, yes saved...
yet dead now—late spring 2016,
incinerated by a different, this-time
indifferent vet... and yet... and yet...
still well-alive inside of me—there she is,
out back, on the back deck about to take
a leap onto the rail, then up onto the roof...
even with just one good eye...one,
the pupil of the other thereafter dilated.
It's difficult having a memory like mine,
one that works in overdrive much of the time—
her final moments... her final moments...
I sat and held her until her life, her life...
gave out from the uncaring vet's injection.