First Attempt At A Love Poem... Poem by Bryan Alexander
First Attempt At A Love Poem...
be careful
with my love
not because I am fragile
as in the sense of a roses stem
or stained pieces of glass
but my love is
don't
take my love forgranted
like so many do the sun
not appreciating and
almost expecting
its daily offering
of light and warmth
take care of my love
as you would
a child
because my love is young
and must be guided
and nurtured to grow
If you don't break
or forsake my love
if you can be kind
and patient enough to
watch it grow
then my love
as innocent as a child's
as consistent as the sun
as soft silken and strong
as a spiders web
will always be yours
Lovely images. My only criticism is of the way you have structured some of the lines: 'dont take my love forgranted like so many do the sun not appreciating and almost expecting its daily offering of light and warmth' This reads as if you could be saying, 'Don't take my love for granted, like so many do. The sun not appreciating and almost expecting its daily offering of warmth.' What I think you mean is, 'Don't take my love for granted, like so many do the sun. Not appreciating its daily offering of light and warmth.' I would humbly suggest that you either use punctuation to separate your clauses or keep each one on the same line. Nonetheless a really nice poem.
Wow... That was a really pleasant poem to read. It flows well and each verse easily leads to the next. Can't believe it; s your first attempt. Much enjoyed Steve
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/25/2024 4:37:48 AM # 1.0.0.1119
I really like this poem. I think it's great.