Losing your virginity
Is likely to be sh**
It’s not all it’s cracked up to be
Let’s be honest, is it?

So do yourself a favour
Don’t build your hopes up high
Too many people aren’t so clever
Then go home and cry

Sure you want to do your best
With Miss or Mr Right
But why not just get it off your chest
When you know it will be sh**e?

Sex is like a wine or scotch
A cigar or a cheese
You have to have it quite a lot
Before it starts to please