First Encounter Poem by Eman Awad

I admit i made a mistake,
with making so many mistakes thinking you'd be forgiving.
I know that soon my heart will break,
maybe it's my fault but i had high hopes on this life i'm living.

Now i've no right to tell you, you're wrong,
and no matter how happy i am with you, i'm really not.
I just hope i can be better or even strong,
but this love has taken every little thing i have ever got.
You are my first encounter with this world,
around you i've realised i'm not much of a talker really.

Around you i lose the track of the proper word,
and i'm weak enough that you're love made me so silly.
I had my share of breaks and pain,
don't be so interested to know how just know.
Underneath it all, i'm not really sane,
and if you ever knew me well, my fear will show.

I'm so afraid of losing you and i can't keep,
my fear is stronger than me and you proved it right.
You derived me safety and good night sleep,
and you decreased my self-asteam with each fight.

I fought you mostly because i was afraid to lose you,
i wanted to keep you unharmed as if you were my son.
But sadness made you insane the minute it chose you,
i know that soon enough you'll fall apart and be gone.
And like my best friend you'll leave,
and like my own blood you'll leave,
and like my first love you'll leave.

But know before you leave that i really loved you,
and every thing i did was out of love, good or bad.
You tried so hard with me and i put nothing above you,
you are so warm and you're like home to me, every thing i had.
I'll live and so will you, i wish you happiness,
till goodbye i'll try to put a smile on your face.

It's amazing the share i've of lonliness,
with you or without when the old you gone without a trace.
Tell me is your love enough to make you see,
that i deserve every thing you do for my sake.
Have you ever imagined you're life with me,
or do you just imagine the hurtful heart break.

I admit it i'm a girl who knows nothing of life,
and with her first encounter she failed to live.
But i say i'm hurt but i'll surely survive,
though i've no smile on my face and nothing left to give.