Friendly Fire Poem by Joyce Rugg

It’s been said that love is blind,
An understatement, I’ve lost my mind
To care for you, after all you’ve done,
Burning alive, still I reach for the sun

Staring through the bars of a cell,
Begging to enter a familiar hell
More than willing to endure any pain
To be near you, a struggle so vain

Endless days spent by the phone
Only a shadow, no life of my own,
Praying that you’d remember me
For without your love, what would I be?

You never noticed me, never cared
A hint of trouble had you running scared
You left me to die in life’s stranglehold
Alone in a razor world of brutal cold

An unwanted burden, an unwitting pawn
Forced to face each bleak dawn
Passed off, someone else’s headache,
Losing my self and sanity, flake by flake

They earn my trust, so simple then
Foolishly, I dropp my guard, that’s when
They plunge the knife through my heart
The crippling pain is only the start

The madmen play the best head games,
Laughing eyes reflect the flames
Left choking on the bitter ashes
My life, a horror movie in flashes

A silhouette in fading dust,
I struggle on, they say I must
They see nothing beyond the mask
Unknowingly killing me with every task

They’re blind to all my fears,
say I lie with words and tears
sneering as they see the strain
of the charade I cannot maintain

screams for help don’t seem to matter
their ignorance continues, I finally shatter
hear their laughter as I hit the ground
all the pieces disappear. Never to be found

is there any waking from this nightmare?
Lonely, consumed by pain I can’t bear
You can’t save me, more helpless than a child
Gone is the sacred bond you defiled

Trusting you is a wish upon a star
Something so distant, so far
It’s gone dark, gambling everything on nothing
Held over a cliff by a frayed string

Too many times I’ve been a fool
Is it funny? I think it’s cruel
Never again, I’m deaf to your lies
You don’t win, I’m not a prize

You say that I’m evil, the demon,
The coward who had to run
You were the one who pushed me away
With your selfish games I won’t play

What to break first, my heart or mind?
An impossible choice, neither option was kind
A question not if, but when
Both are gone, what then?

I left, the only thing I learned from you
Do you blame me? I did what you’d do
You left me alone, the best thing you ever did
Tucked me into my coffin, and closed the lid