General "Ducky" Custer Poem by Paul Amrod

Our wartime Prez has his hands full lying like a equivocator
Hiding behind his desk while subtracting with his calculator
Calling out a female reporter with an abacus and a question
barking with indignity leaving the stage with indigestion.
Losing hope as the Native Americans express their outrage
remembering the Battle of Greasy Grass as we turn the page.
Trying to force the issue by opening up the sultry south
nonetheless the Alamo has left him with a cottonmouth.
Still claiming he's barricaded the borders to make us sure
while the hidden enemy is lurking underneath his furniture.
His doctors and professionals have decided to quarantine
keeping away from embarrassment and his sickening scene.
The senate has listened to their very unambiguous statements
while his other enemy is sheltering in his modern basement.
Blustering about testing although many soldiers all hang dry
waiting for a special czar to shout his orders made to mortify.
Our general's ears are stuffed full with some Quaker's oats
as he crosses the Delaware waving at the navy's rescue boats.
Thinking he is exempt protected by the constitution
which he has never read bringing all in convolution.
As he was a private he was honored a silver spoon
notwithstanding he has never become much of a tycoon.
Forthcoming is knowledge of his massive foreign debts
while the Chinamen have him hiding in his silhouette.
Wondering whether Kim is still threatening with a bomb
Secretly chatting with Salman of Saudi with a sweet salaam
Claiming that Obamagate was a most miserable unethical scam
only to distract his base who scream in disbelief "God Damn".
Now he's hiding in the bushes while Crazy Horse does prepare
to yank down his pants as Sitting Bull blocks the thoroughfare.
Caught helpless in a valley of gorgeous fields of columbine
trying to wash the Sioux's faces with some borrowed turpentine.
Surrounded on the hillside by a regiment of angry Cheyenne
our wartime Prez is outnumbered and being called a charlatan.
Dipping into his pockets spending only his smaller change
ranting deliriously stirring dust acting absurdly deranged.
As the unseen thief of life takes on its next feeble victim
Ducky quacks another falsehood selling it as a dictum.
Imagining he can win an election simply with economics
averting attention away from others totally autonomic.
His polls are falling into a cellar where he may not recover
He should find recluse with Melania, his haughty Slavic lover.
Time will tell if he repeats this evil old hapless Custer
known for his last stand as he tried a failed filibuster.
Mournfully aching showing no recognizable emotion
playing the bully while the Supreme Court is in motion.
He plays Paul Bunyan lumberjacking chopping with multiple axes
as Congress goes at him again because of his most private taxes.
So we end this parody with a remembrance of exaggeration
which reaches the GOP as it stumbles in total exasperation.