Good-Bye Cruel World Poem by George Hunter

Good-bye cruel world
I think I’ll pull the trigger
Cause my problems here
Are just getting bigger, bigger.

So I went to the bedroom
And looked under the bolster
And found my old Beretta auto
In its brown leather holster.

Took it to my study
Sat in my easy chair
Straightened my tie
And combed my hair.

Took out the clip
And put it on the table
Put as many bullets in
As I was able.

Knew that one would be enough
To blow off my face.
An ignominious end
For the human race.

Picked up the clip
And snapped it in.
Glad I’m not Catholic
Or this would be a sin.

Pointed at my temple
Like in a dream
Then changed my mind
And wanted a bowl of ice cream.

I rang for my maid
Who was not yet in my bed
And she brought me
An ice cream cone instead.

Sure love that stuff and
It made me feel much better
So I got up and
Put on my sweater.

Took a stroll outside
It was as dark as hell
And after a while
I began to feel well.

Guess I’ll wait a while
I’ll have to confess
And besides that, I didn’t
Want to make such a mess

And bloody up the house
For my heirs to have to clean
‘Cause that would have been
So very, very mean.

I think I’ll have some beers
To drown my sorrows
And look forward to
Some better tomorrows!