Goodnight Poem by Nyl Revol

Everyone says goodnight
I don't have the nerve
To point out that
It's not good.
I put my phone aside
And curl up in my bed
They all think I'm ok
But they all misunderstood.
My head hits the pillow
And my eyes fill with tears
The pain starts back up in my heart
How long will this last?
God, don't let it be years.
It happens every night
The battle I cannot win
But for some reason I continue to fight
It's makin' my head spin.
I try to explain
The sadness overwhelming
But no one beleives it
Because I keep on laughing.
Its what they don't know
That's killing me
When will they see
That I mean what I say?
I might have to be dead
To get it my way.