Hacked Off Poem by Phil Soar

I think someone has hacked my phone,
And stolen all my data;
Along with many recipes,
For beef and mashed potater.

I bet it was Rebecca,
She did it on a whim,
She's taken all my contacts,
And removed them from my SIM.

She sent erroneous messages,
To people I don't know,
And told them I'm a nincompoop,
But most already know.

She's even text my mother,
And she's been dead for years,
I called to warn her yesterday,
But she hasn't any ears.

The call just went to voicemail,
And no-one did reply,
I can't delete her number now,
Rebecca has it. Why? .

I hash-tagged warnings to my mate,
(As I have only one) ,
He tried to call me back, but said,
My answer-phone went wrong.

He spoke to someone in Tibet,
Who said something Tibettan,
"That' weird" I said, ‘cos calls from there
Were all that I've been gettan (?) .

I notice that she's now in court,
For so much serial hacking,
I'm off to Salford to protest,
‘Cos someone there is Fracking! .