Hairs Under The Armpit Poem by Sheeya Hacks
Hairs Under The Armpit
Let me challenge some notions of 'normalcy',
and embrace so called 'Natural Selves' with glee.
Is it must to follow such a trend?
To fit into boxes, we must all bend?
They are like armpit hairs which thrive and grow,
Is it society that commands them to go?
Underneath the arms, they bloom with might,
A sign of nature's beauty, shining bright.
The critical eyes may raise and stare,
But why should we let them decide what's fair?
For what harm do these hairs truly pose?
To paint them as monstrous, nobody knows.
With a swift motion, they'll be tamed and contained,
No longer wild, but orderly and restrained.
No longer shall we hide and conform,
But rise above, like a poetic storm.
In the realm of social norms, I decree,
Our underarm hairs, let them wander free.
stanza 5: I would use 'rise' instead of 'raise'. My decision involves the difference between transitive vs intransitive verbs. But every reader should understand you. ;)))
**** Skin tags are: Usually, they 'are flesh-colored bumps of tissue connected to the skin's surface by a narrow stalk.' YES. My bro's got strangled by a groping, entwining hair and died and fell off.
stanza 4: 'beauty' seems 'a bit much' for armpit hairs, though MINE are quite pretty. And nearby is a cute skin tag **** I've had for decades; my younger brother had its twin-tag.
stanza 3: I think 'They' refer to 'notions'. Right? I'd make that more clear. AND I'd use a period, not a comma. Or at least a semicolon, NOT followed by 'Is', but, instead, by 'is'.
Lastly, 'Our underarm hairs, let them wander free.' I would use a comma after 'wander' and end your sentence with an exclamation point or two! ! If you do NOT use a comma, I think you should change 'free' to 'freely'. bri ;)
'No longer shall we hide and conform, ' I thought 'we' might refer to the hairs, BUT in the preceeding stanza the plan is to 'contain' and 'restrain' them! ! Hmm?
'With a swift motion, they'll be tamed and contained, No longer wild, but orderly and restrained.' Well, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO THIS FOR YEARS WITH MY AREMPIT (and other) HAIRS, MUCH to my annoyance! !
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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12/5/2023 9:08:52 AM # 1.0.0.1118
(cont.) stanza 5: And I don't think 'fair' fits. I would go with a non-rhyming word rather than 'fair', unless I could 'come up with' a rhyme I liked. : )