danyelle tedrow


Hear The Crys - Poem by danyelle tedrow

i hear your crys deep down inside it makes me sad all the time and makes me cry why oh why do youhave to be sad just cuz im gone dousent mean you have to cry pleas oh pleas dont cry 4 me i dont deserv to be cryed over i just wish i could be ther with you to make you stop but i cant but i cant belive you did what you di 2 be with me as that night i wached you from heaven as you picked up that razor blade and cut your self and i keep wachen you cut deeper and deeper it makes me cry as i cry it starts to rain you stop cuting your self and you look out the windo and i heard you pray and say why did i do thise and then you collapst to th floor and died as your mom rushed in i came down and took you back with me


Comments about Hear The Crys by danyelle tedrow

  • (8/4/2010 11:39:00 AM)


    you don't have to write your poems like everybody else does. then it would be boring. i mean, look at sylvia plath. hers didn't even rhyme.
    good job :)
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  • (3/8/2010 6:41:00 PM)


    Hey danyelle its a good poem but.... (Report) Reply

  • (3/2/2010 2:44:00 PM)


    this was soo beautifully written....i liked ALOT! ! ^-^ (Report) Reply

  • (1/26/2010 1:45:00 PM)


    THIS IS A VERY NICE PIECE TO READ BUT YOU SHOULD OF ONLY A FEW WORDS ON THE LINE BECAUSE THE WAY YOU WROTE IS IN A STORY AND THATS NOT HOW YOU WRITE POEMS.. (Report) Reply

  • (12/28/2009 8:59:00 AM)


    Interesting.
    You'll have to check punctuation and typos though.
    (Report) Reply

  • John Knight (12/17/2009 4:31:00 PM)


    Hi Danyelle - This is a very interesting poem with a twist in the tail. LINES 1 & 2. When we are parted from someone we love - by death or distance - we both cry we don't want to but we do. 'I don't want to be cried over - I wish I could be there to make you stop'. LINE 3 & 4 Introduces the idea that YOU are DEAD (I watched you from Heaven) so your 'friend' comits suicide (to be with you) and you are helpless to help. LINE 5 This is very emotive. Your friend dies and you come down form Heaven to take your 'friend' back to heaven with you so you can be together forever. Lovely ending! Love you in poetry - JOHN X (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Monday, December 14, 2009



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